Revelations

A harsh weekend of withdrawal, only followed by mind harrowing work, and inexcusable weekdays. I can't stand it, everyone pretends like everything is okay, but they're lying to themselves. I'll edit more of this as soon as I'm done my essay, and some work. For now..

The withdrawal, so much pain. I don't think such withdrawal is possible unless love is in play. And once more, I know how my good friend Carro felt those seven days in September. I think I was too dull to realize it, or simply saying things in return because they were being said, but I'm beginning to think she really loved me once upon a time. Loving someone so much that it hurts, heh, as has been said. To be honest, I wanted to end things this weeked. At least something small in me did, I'm not saying it as if I was entirely behind it. Time has not been the most gracious of companions and I can't take it anymore. All the waiting, the worrying, the anxiety. I felt as she must have. I've said it before, but I have never meant it more than now. Friction is at its highest and time is at its most cruel. Times like this, I'd rather be dead. Not because of the pain or any such shit, but because I don't think I can take living anymore. I believe I've seen what it has to offer at its highest and lowests, of my life anyway, and I can't see a future of me being happy. Isn't that what life is about?